As a child, the only prayer I knew was the bedtime prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep… .” I remember lying there listening to the words I said out loud, analyzing them to understand why I was reciting such a prayer. It’s a somber prayer, but my childhood was quite unstable and there was much solitude and depression in my own thoughts and feelings. So it seemed fitting.
Through the years, my prayers, or my talk, to the “Heavens” expanded into questions. Mainly, “Why?” But, I truly didn’t know who I was directing these inquiries to. I had dismissed the larger-than-life old guy with the long, white beard sitting on a throne of clouds, and found myself trusting that something, or someone, “out there” had to be listening to me! It’s all I had. No human was giving me the time or energy, so trusting that there was someone out there that understood my purpose greater than me, was all I had to hold onto. It’s truly what saved my life… more than once.
Adulthood brought on even greater challenges, pushing me to trust and rely not only on Spirit, but myself as well. I always seemed to have an inner knowing, but never had anyone in my life that exposed me to or shared anything remotely close to what this inner desire and connection even meant, let alone how I could tap into it.
For me, I learned that asking “Why?” was the key to opening the door to Spirit. I had to step out of blame, guilt, fear, and victimhood to ask the really tough questions. And those questions usually begin with “Why?”
The visual of the man on the throne, to how I see Spirit now, has come full circle as I tried on many beliefs along the way. I have discovered that when I connect to Spirit, I truly am reconnecting to mySelf. That longing I felt as a little girl trying to navigate her way through an environment riddled in fear, pain, and anger, has led me to mySelf once again. Not in a somber lonesome way, but in a way that is expansive where I feel part of the Whole.
As a healer and Feng Shui Practitioner, I know that when a client is ready to ask those big questions… the one’s that start with “Why?”, that some seriously big changes are going to take place. It’s very exciting and inspiring!
Now, when I talk to Spirit, or mySelf, I still ask why, but I find it much more fulfilling and joyous when I just simply say, “Thank you.” As being in gratitude expands and enhances my Spirit connection allowing for much quicker responses and understanding to my questions.
Never stop asking. Be like the curious child that asks “Why?”. Always, stop… and be still in the space of gratitude so you can hear the messages Spirit and yourSelf are sending you. And trust.
– An excerpt written by Tina Falk for Mary Shurtleff’s “The Realm of Spirit”.
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