As I reflect and assess how I relate with others, whether up-close and personal, or unknown and from a distance, I feel we each have two major roles in which we live. These roles are a clear reflection of the yin and yang qualities that govern this planet of duality. Sure, I am a woman. A wife and a mom. A friend, an entrepreneur, a feng shui consultant, and many other roles that summarize who I am and what I do. But ultimately, the way in which I interact with others is one of two ways. I am either The Teacher or The Student.
Simple, right? Oh, it was quite obvious who the teacher was, as I remember sitting in my 5th grade classroom with Mr Shaw. It was 1976, he ran a strict classroom and if I had any inclination at all that I was anything other than a student, there would be a price to pay. You know what I mean. Children were to be seen, not heard.
“I was to be seen, not heard.” That phrase is still a stab to my heart, right through my soul. “How could this be?” I thought. “I see what’s going on and have something to say to about it!” My parents had already been divorced for 5 years. It was such an unhealthy environment. I could see inappropriate behaviors and sense incredibly intense emotions. There was no place for me to share my insights. After all, I was just a child. So, assuming the role of the silent observer was a means for me to survive… yet ultimately thrive.
During these years of moving around and weekend visits, I honed my Student skills quite well. Although, I wasn’t able to ask questions for clarity, like in a classroom, in time all was revealed. My parents were quite The Teachers. You know, the kind of teachers that teach by example. The best kind.
Fast forward to 1997. I’m 31 and pregnant with my first child. I am eager to be his Teacher. His guide. His number one fan. I learned so much over the years that, although I was terrified, I felt I had so much to share. I knew that I would allow him to be open to share his feelings and his thoughts, and that we would create a family that “keeps it real.”
Whoa… did I ever set that one up! My desire to finally be The Teacher was swiftly and sternly handed over to my son. “What?! I’m the parent,” as I stomped my foot. The more I resisted, the more he persisted. The more I cried, the more he gave me something to cry about. Within months, I knew I needed to jump into survival mode again. I needed to be The Student. I learned to humbly accept the moments that were created for me to Teach, and accepted those MANY moments that were created just for me… to learn.
Oh goodness, it was a roller coaster… and still is. He is now 16, and although we are better at dancing between these roles, we both are tired, feeling we’ve come a long way and deserve to be The Teacher more often. He’s not at an age yet, where we can talk and I can fill his heart with all my gratitude for what he has taught me. About life. About me. I have studied under several Masters over the years, and none have touched me or provided me such profound lessons as my son and his now 11 year old sister.
They, and all the children, are who push me… to places where I can learn the most. It is because of them, and that silent child in me, that I see life as a perpetual classroom, where once in a while I can step in and teach a thing or two.
It’s a fine line to dance between these two powerful archetypes… The Teacher and The Student. To know when to inhale or exhale, to flex or to point, to teach or to learn. I am reminded of this everyday when I meet with a client for a feng shui consultation. Although, I am hired to come in with my expertise to be of assistance, I find myself sitting in my car afterwards filled with gratitude. Realizing what I just learned or discovered about myself, and how I can take this to my next consultation. My first conversation with a new feng shui student, or even the children in my meditation groups, is partly to inform them that this experience is filled with reciprocity. It’s only natural.
– An article written by Tina Falk for Mia Staysko’s Living Feng Shui magazine (Winter 2013).www.livingfengshui.ca